Chapter One: The Honest Thief

Late summer 2005 on Alnilam. The days had recently been dawning bright and sunny while the nights were cool and clear. A few of Alien Lisa’s (AL’s) guys were taking advantage of the nice weather.

Jesse was off somewhere with Medicus, trying to see if he could adapt anything he learned for Earth medicine. Adam had popped off to London to visit Megabyte and Ami, but not before promising AL he’d bring back a few bags of jelly babies. Tommy was on one side of the house, doing his martial arts kata while, on the other side, the three incarnations of the Doctor (5, 8 and 9) were puttering around with the TARDIS.

Not one of them noticed a mechanical, metal tentacle with pincers on the end sneak inside the time machine and ever-so-gently pick the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver up from the top of the central console with its built-in, smaller tentacle and exit just as quietly as it had come in.

Inside the house, Jamie and Data were upstairs playing poker, and Erik was holed up in his room, which was, of course, just the way he liked it. He really only let AL in his room, anyway.

Luke and Hooks were relaxing in the living room while AL herself was trudging around, in a mood she’d been in for a while.

Luke looked up from his book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and said, “Lee, why are you so moody?”

She stopped in mid-step. “A) Don’t call me that,” she said. She didn’t like being called by any nickname. There was only one person allowed to call her “Lee”, and he wasn’t there. “B) I’m not moody.”

Luke raised his eyebrow. “Mm hmm. Hooks?”

“She’s moody,” the critter responded from his resting place on the recliner, earning himself a frown.

“Sit here and read with me,” said Luke, patting the couch beside him.

She didn’t have to be asked twice. There was a beat, then, “Okay!” and she plopped herself down beside Luke, snuggling up next to him as he put his arm around her.

The Ninth Doctor came inside. “Lisa, luv, have you any idea where my sonic screwdriver is?”

She didn’t look up. “Isn’t it in your jacket?”

“No, and it’s not in my room.”

The very same tentacle that had taken the missing tool suddenly wound its way into view, holding the sonic screwdriver remarkably delicately in the built-in tentacle.

Hooks had taken that moment to look up, and, petrified, nearly leaped out of his skin and hid underneath the coffee table.

AL blinked. “What’s your malfunction?” she asked.

The critter could only squeak and point with one hooked arm.

A chitter came from the tentacle, and a voice said, “He says he’s sorry for frightening you.”

Both AL and Luke jumped, while Doc9 simply turned and looked absolutely delighted to be face-to-sonic screwdriver. “Oh, there it is!” he said, plucking the sonic screwdriver from the tentacle. He blinked, then jumped.

AL raised her eyebrow, mirroring Luke’s earlier gesture to her. “Delayed reaction much, Doctor?” She turned and followed the tentacle to a tall man with white hair. Three more tentacles were moving around him, seemingly examining everything they could get their camera lenses to focus on. “Doc,” she said, “what are you doing here?”

Underneath the table, Hooks whimpered.

“Hooks,” AL said soothingly, “relax.”

Luke eyed the newcomer. “That’s Doc? Doc as in Doc Brown, the guy you told me was like your family? You never mentioned…uh…” His eyes darted from one tentacle to another.

AL shook her head. “He’s not that Doc. This is ‘OckDoc’, a character and muse of someone I know. And what are you doing here?”

The Eighth Doctor chose that moment to enter, wiping his hands on a rag. “I asked him to come over.”

“Yes,” OckDoc added. “He wanted me and the kids to help with repairs on the TARDIS.”

“ ‘Kids’?” Luke echoed.

OckDoc gestured to the tentacles, who all nodded in unison. “They call me ‘Father’. I created them, so they think of themselves as my children. It’s a long story.”

Luke cast a glance at AL.

“What?” she asked. “Suddenly my house is like Grand Central Station and you look at me for answers?”

Doc8 answered for him. “Well, yes.”

AL’s eyes narrowed. “Anyway…” She stopped in mid-sentence as OckDoc’s upper right tentacle, designated “Verne”, wound his way over and began examining her wings. She blinked, then said, “Yes, they’re real,” and she flapped them to prove it.

OckDoc was surprised. “What the…?”

Doc8 stared while Luke blinked; Hooks meeped and Doc9 gave a clueless “Huh?”

OckDoc asked, “You can hear them?”

She nodded. “Of course. They speak to you through thoughts, right?” At OckDoc and his four “children’s” nod, AL tapped the side of her head. “I’m telepathic, remember? Clear as a bell to me.”

The Fifth Doctor walked in, covered in grease. “Is he…yes, he is. Hello, Dr. Brown.” He took the rag from Doc8 and wiped off his hands before extending one to OckDoc, who shook it.

“Hello,” he said.

Doc9 looked scandalized. “Why didn’t you two tell me he was comin’?”

“We did,” his past incarnations informed him, in unison. The Fifth added, “You forgot.” He turned to AL and whispered, “Did I really become that forgetful?”

“Er…” she stammered, and saw Doc9 looking at her. “I refuse to answer under the grounds I may be incriminated.” She paused. “It’s an expression, Albert,” she said to OckDoc’s lower left tentacle. “What are you guys doing to the TARDIS, anyway?”

This time, it was Doc8’s turn to stammer. “Er…repair the chameleon circuit.”

“What?!” AL shouted. “Doctor, that never works! Come on, we like it as a police box.”

“A few extra sets of hands might be just what we need,” said Doc5. “The old girl was designed to be operated by more than one person, after all. She might also need that to be repaired.”

“Well,” said AL, “for the old girl’s sake I hope you don’t damage her beyond repair.” She sighed. “Well, how long are you staying, Doc?”

He shrugged. “As long as I need to, I’d assume. I’ve never been on another planet before. The color of the vegetation is intriguing.” One of the tentacles – the upper left, whose designation was “Jules” – extended down to peek at Hooks, who made a noise and meeped, still frightened.

AL reached down and picked him up. “Would you relax?”

“But…but…but…” Hooks sputtered, pointing at OckDoc.

“Jeez, Hooks. So he’s got a few extra limbs…that can think for themselves. He’s still a friend of mine. Relax and be nice, okay? Say hello.”

“Hello,” he said, but it came out as a squeak.

OckDoc nodded politely. “Hello. Sorry they scare you. Story of my life, really.” He suddenly looked a little depressed. The tentacles wrapped around him in their version of a hug.

Hooks, who had always been extremely sensitive to the feelings of other beings, tilted his head to one side. He leapt down out of AL’s arms and scrambled up onto the couch so he could pat OckDoc’s arm, earning himself a small smile.

“What exactly are you?”

He chuckled shyly. “Don’t exactly know. I’m Hooks.”

“I think this really is becoming a house of insanity…” remarked AL. “Come on, Doc. I’ll give you a room while you’re staying here.”

End chapter one.

Back *~*~* Chapter Two