Gift-Fic: Smiler in Secundus
by: Flaming Trails

And there we are – at least that was a quick trip to the store. Now to get this home so Alice can make her bread…and then straight back in the lab so I can figure out just where I’m going wrong with this latest project! You’d think that making a butterfly that can change colors wouldn’t be very difficult at all, given they’re naturally inclined toward camouflage…maybe I’m tweaking the wing scales too much…

“Hello there! You look like you could use some help smiling! Might I interest you in a syringe of my excellent Joy Serum?”

Victor blinked, shaken abruptly out of his thoughts. He looked over to see a man about his age grinning at him from over the top of a briefcase-turned-salesman’s stand. The case was spread open before him, displaying a collection of gleaming glass-and-brass syringes, each filled with a mysterious substance glowing the same brilliant yellow as the seller’s eyes. “Your – what?” he said, trying to catch up with the conversation he hadn’t expected to be having.

“Joy Serum!” the seller repeated, tone as sunny as the liquid he was hawking. “Made personally by yours truly!” He stuck out a hand. “Smiler Alton – pleasure to meet you!”

“Ah – n-nice to meet you as well,” Victor said slowly, accepting the hand. Goodness – it’s like being hit in the face by a very cheery sack of bricks. “Victor Van Dort.”

Smiler tilted his head. “Van Dort? Like Van Dort Fish?”

Victor swallowed, memories of returned letters and judging looks and his mother declaring that they could send him somewhere to have him “fixed” dancing around his head. “Ah – no,” he murmured, pushing them away. “N-not anymore.”

“Oh – sorry,” Smiler said, withdrawing his hand with genuine contrition in his voice. “Didn’t mean to bring up bad memories…but trust me, you won’t be feeling sad once you try some of this!” he added, brightening back up as he waved said hand over his wares. “Guaranteed to make you as happy as you’ve ever been for a good three hours, with minimal side effects! Just fifteen pence a syringe! Want to give it a go?”

“Ah – I’m – I’m fine,” Victor said, eyeing the liquid with trepidation. “Um – look, Mr. Alton – ”

Smiler winced – subtly, but – still noticeable. “Just Smiler, please,” he said, smile suddenly looking a bit strained. “It’s – it’s not ‘Mister.’”

Victor blinked, then looked the – person – up and down again. Black pants, white shirt, yellow waistcoat with light purple checks, purple pocket square, black flat cap – all things he generally associated with men…but then again, Lady Heterodyne was fairly famous for wearing trousers, and this was the ‘Enlightened Era,’ so… “Miss Alton?” he tried.

Smiler shook their head. “Not that either. It’s – well, it’s more nebulous than that.”

More nebul – wait. “Are you – are you like my friend Richard, then?” Victor asked, running his fingers through his hair. “We, ah, got on the topic of men and women recently, and he mentioned that he didn’t actually feel like a man – he didn’t feel like anything at all, in fact. Is that you?”

Smiler’s eyes went wide – and then the most genuine grin of the day split their face. “Yes! I mean, it’s not exactly like that for me – I’m something, I’ve just never been able to define what it is!” they said excitedly. “But it’s not man or woman, so…ah, for the record, I prefer ‘they’ if you’re speaking about me to other people,” they added, resettling their cap on their head.

“They?”

Smiler shrugged. “Only other option we’ve got, right? Unless someone comes up with new pronouns.”

Victor chuckled. “Well, around here, they just might…anyway, what I was going to ask was, do you have a permit to sell these?”

“Oh – no,” Smiler admitted, glancing at their case and back again. “I wasn’t aware I needed one – I only arrived in town this morning.” They smiled in a bit of a tired way. “Haven’t really had a chance to get settled yet.”

“Fair enough, but the police around here are rather strict when it comes to street sellers – I fell afoul of them myself when I tried selling honey from my beehives a while back,” Victor said, recalling the embarrassment of having his little venture aborted before it could take flight. “Nobody here wants any unethical Touched going around selling anything deliberately tainted to cause chaos.” He paused and thought about where he lived. “Well – n-not without it being clearly labeled, anyway.”

“Very logical,” Smiler agreed, shutting their case and giving the legs underneath a kick – they folded up like an accordion into the bottom. “All right then – mind telling me where I can get a permit?”

“The town hall – I can walk you there, if you like,” Victor offered. “It’s not far, and I’m sure Alice – my wife – will understand if I’m a little late getting back.”

“Excellent – after you,” Smiler said, gesturing before them. “Married, then? Mind telling me more about her?” They fiddled with the handle of their case. “And – Richard too?”

Victor smiled. “I’d be happy to.”

The End